DOES MY HUSBAND CHEAT?
Mrs Victory cried, I made my husband a cheat. Her heart is broken as she rued everything she had done to push her husband into the life of immorality and eventually the breakage of her home. Mrs Anita just shared with her, a principle she had applied in her home that straightened what was to be a crooked spouse.
She listened to Mrs Anita's story, how she knew her husband, Mr Segun who was known to have a weak spot for anything on skirt, and how though Mrs. Anita knew about her husband's weakness yet would kept calling her husband, 'Faithful and exemplary husband and father'. She said, she did that because she cared more about what her husband can become and not what he was. I called forth the type of man I want to see him be and I avoided words that described him as a husband I don't wish him to be. The more upset I was about his flirtations, the more I intensify calling him 'Faithful and exemplary husband and father'.
For a very long time, he seemed worse yet I never stopped calling forth the man I want him to become. I felt it was my duty to create what I need in the man God has given unto me and not to judge him for who he was that I didn't want him to be.
Mrs Victory shook her head in deep regret, she had grown and patterned her life according to the pattern of the world, she had seen men cheat, she had been a side chick to some married men when she was single, she had seen how unfaithful men could be at the slightest temptation and she had come to the believe that every men would cheat. When George her husband proposed to marry her, she feared he would cheat on her as other married men had cheated on their wives with her so she was determined to monitor her husband and don't give him space to cheat on her at all.
George wasn't a cheat when the marriage began, he was a disciplined man who loved his wife very much and desire no other woman but his wife Mrs. Victory, but his wife would keep calling him cheat, she'll kept monitoring his movements as though she is his mother, pay him sudden visit at his office, follow up any female person who commented on his social media profile and would even privately threaten any person she deemed suspicious
She was insecure and she allowed her insecurity to make her assume her husband was a cheat.
One day, George her husband was locked out, his wife Mrs Victory had suspected he was having an affair with his female colleague Miss Chinelo and he used the office office as an excuse to cover up. So she told him to 'go back to Chinelo your love' and abandon your wife and children, you irresponsible man. That day, Mr. George had sleep outside. While he was sleeping outside, Miss Chinelo called to ask if he got home after the day's stress at the office, he told her he was locked outside and the wife forgot to keep the key. But he'll be fine. In few minutes time, Miss Chinelo would come with a Taxi to pick him up. When she came, because he had lied to her in his bid to protect the image of his wife, he had no excuse to decline her offer to take him to her house.
Meanwhile, his wife was peeping from the window and when she saw miss chinelo, she…sighed in her heart, I know it, he is cheating, he is a cheat, I hate the day i fell in love with him, I'll quit, I'll divorce him she was mumbling within herself. While she was troubled, she the thought that he might come home with HIV hit her strong and she started hearing voices that she should leave and quit the marriage. She immediately made a call to their pastor and kept telling him how her husband cheats, how she sees him wither a female office colleague called Chinelo and how as they were talking right now, he is in her house. But she never mentioned the fact that she had locked him out and that Chinelo came to rescue him from sleeping outside that night.
The pastor prayed with her and asked her to calm down, told her to be patient and allow the spirit of God lead her, but her heart wasn't in the prayers or in the counsel of her pastor, she was still busy fuming, after the prayers, she sent text to one of her single friends, one the girls who had lived an immoral life with her then, she is call, Coded-Babe. Coded-babe, told her to quit the marriage if not, she'll be infected or for her to forget being faithful to the husband and live her life the way she wants. She even added that if she hurt the man back, that the man would behave and learn to respect their marital vows. That seems to make sense to her, the call to her pastor and what the pastor had said to her didn't matter to her, she never meditated on what the pastor had said, but she went head-on on what her friend said and started checking up on her phone, most of the men she had blocked on whatsapp who had wanted a relationship with them. She had told them earlier that she is married and blocked them, now she wants to have a relationship with them so as to hurt her husband.
Meanwhile, George her husband is now in Chinelo's house. Its a 3 bedroom flat, so Chinelo gave him a room to stay, he had his bath and by the time he was done, there was food and coffee on the dinning for him. He ate, and without discussing much with Chinelo, went to bed.
Very early in the morning around 5 AM, he decided to return home as to bath from home and get dressed and from there go to work, he was angry and scared at the same time. Angry that his wife had locked him out, and scared that the wife may start asking him where he slept, he didn't even know that the wife saw Chinelo when she came to pick him up.
While getting close to the house, he conjured up a lie, that he slept in a male friend's house. He didn't even rehearse the lie properly, the lie just fly into his mind and he just decided to say it when she'll ask. He dare not say the truth that he slept at Chinelo's place, because if he does, the wife would go haywire and that would strengthen her accusation.
By the time he got home by 5:30 AM. He knocked and his child came and open the door, the child had woken up to prepare for school.
His heart was pumping intensely immediately he had the steps of his wife walking towards him. When she saw him, she screamed and said…
Cheat, adulterer, go back to your her. He in defense said, what did you mean, who is 'her'? where did you slept, if not with your concubine, she shouted in the presence of their child. He was trying to tell her to keep quiet for the sake of the child yet she would shout out more, I'll tell the world, yet you go to church and pretend to be a christian, yet you jump from women to women.
'I slept with a male friend's house' he said while cowering. she shouted, 'liar, liar' I saw your girl friend Chinelo. He got shocked because he didn't know that she saw them. He just got quiet, well in, dressed up and went to work.
He couldn't concentrate at the place of work, and doesn't want to return home. After work, he would stay more in the office, till very late in the night. When Chinelo would call to know if he had gone home, he would say 'yes'. When he finally gets home in the midnight, she would nag and call him names, accusing him of going to Chinelo's place after work and coming. He would just ignore her, and go to sleep. She stopped giving him food, and they stopped sharing bed.
This continued for long, and he started going to bars after work, he'll stay at the bar, until he became drunk. He'll return home drunk and that when he gets home, his wife would abuse him even more.
The wife would call the pastor, accusing her husband of being a drunkard and a male-prostitute and threatening to quit the relationship. The pastor would advice her to pray and send her texts to meditate on, yet she won't even bother to open it. Another friend introduced her to certain prophets who would solve her marital crisis instantly. when she got to him, he told her that its the work of her enemies. He gave him series of prayers to do, asked her to bring 50k for things he'll buy in other to pray for her. He told her how her enemies are so desperate to destroy her marriage but he never told her she has been the cause of her marital crisis.
The prophet collected money, yet no change in the marital life of the woman, he kept telling her that the enemies used a very strong charm on her to ruined her marriage and this became a means through which the prophet kept her in coming back and an object for extortion.
While Mrs Victory is now paying more attention to her new found prophet and tend was eagerly searching for any man she'll flirt with, her husband Mr. George became tired of everything and started opening up to to Chinelo; the more he talked about the challenges and his pain with Chinelo, the more his heart became fond of her due to the the fact that she listens to him without judging and assuming and showed that someone cares about him. She one day told him that he can come and be using one of her rooms whenever he doesn't feel like returning to his house due to the nags of his wife instead of staying in bars and drinking himself to stupor.
He started going to Chinelo's house after work so that he could at least have peace. At her place, he was sure of food, and a good night rest. He stopped visiting bars, Chinelo's house became a new haven for him and his concentration on he'll start becoming intimate with Chinelo.
Sometimes seeing Chinelo in her night dress would trigger some thoughts in him but being a man who truly loves his wife, he kept resisting for many weeks until one day….
He told himself, my wife has been calling me a cheat, and punishing me though i hadn't cheated on her. Let me not suffer the punishment for a sin I haven't committed for nothing, let me commit the sin so that I can at least know that I'm been punished for what I actually did. So that night, he walked into Chinelo's room, told her how his wife had deprived him for several months now and if she would allow him, she did and thus their relationship which had been platonic for a long while became erotic.
From that day, they became sexually involved, and the more he was intimate with Chinelo, the less he wanted to tolerate his wife so one day, he decided to move in Chinelo.
Mrs. Victory is now a depressed woman, who had lost trust in men, she kept saying all men are cheats, and that stuck into her. She became loose again and became a sugar mummy to lots of little boys.
Her home had just broken and she felt her husband was the cause. She kept laying curses on him, and telling their child that the father is a faithless and irresponsible.
She is now spend most of her time with her friend Coded-Babe and that was what led her into sleeping with little boys. She became dissatisfied with her life, bitter and so unfulfilled
But meeting Mrs. Anita, A great wife and Mother would open her eyes to the realities of life. She couldn't believe Mrs Anita's story on how she by the agency of her mouth brought about the transformation of her husband who was unfaithful to her and irresponsible to their kids.
Mrs. Anita came to know Mrs. Victory when he came to the neighborhood of the Coded-babe to preach the gospel. After Mrs Victory had resisted the word of God for a long time because of her involvement with that prophet who had wasted her time, extorted her of her monies and yet couldn't help save her marriage, she grew tick skin for the gospel. But eventually the word of God prevailed over her hardened heart and she finally became receptive and one day, she would share her story with Mrs Anita.
Her first encounter with Mrs Anita, gave her the strength to be able to the lust of her body in check because Mrs Anita lead her to Christ. She started dismissing all the young boys she was having affairs with and started longing for her home and marriage again, asking what she could do so as to bring about the healing of her home.
Mrs Anita said, Marriage is about what you can offer and not what you expect the man to offer. Make it your duty to improve yourself, be concerned about being the wife you promised to be and most importantly, don't call your husband names describing him to be foul and evil if you don't want him to be foul and evil. My husband didn't started as a saint he is now, I worked God's word in his life to get the result I am now enjoying.
my husband recounted to me the secret affair he was having and how he repented of it by himself because of my attitude towards him, he said, that one day...
My husband shared with me how he had been cheating and how the way I was calling him 'a faithful husband and a responsible father' consistently over a long period of time even when its evident that I wasn't faithful and responsible. This made him to rethink his unfaithfulness towards me and his irresponsibility towards our child. He said, the lady he was having an affair with had called him, faithless and irresponsible man and though he had replied that that he was not, that hit him hard and he couldn't stop thinking about it.
It began to bother him that his wife considered him faithful and responsible and treated him not like other women whose husband had neither been faithful nor irresponsible to their children do treat their husbands. At that moment, I realized how special my wife has been and how ungrateful I was and I decided to become the woman my wife had always believed and declared that I was even when it was evident I was far from such.
My husband came to me, confessed and told me he had repented of his faithlessness towards me and irresponsibility towards the kids, and that day, my husband became the man i've always believed he was.
Mrs. Victory wept bitterly and for the first time, accepted that it was her ignorance and neglect that brought about the ruining of her home. She decided she was going to confront her marriage with a new attitude, but the challenge now is, her husband had moved out of the house.
What would I do about this situation? she asked Mrs Anita. Mrs. Anita looked at her, smiled and said, everything is possible when you believe and confession is the evidence of your believe. Describe your husband with your words, and believe he is what you've described and every time you remember.
Help me! she responded to Mrs. Anita. Go home, pray and write, describe in details your husband in words and describe in details the wife you intend to be in words. Make sure everything you wrote about him and yourself have a basis in the scriptures and declare them them. Bring it to me what you've written and I'll join you in your declarations over your home. To help you about the ideal wife, study Proverbs 31, from their write out words that describe
When Mrs Victory got home, she first did a long list of what she wanted her husband to be, she looked at the list for a long while, tore it and began a list about herself. She has seen the many ways she needs to adjust. The more she read Proverbs 31, the more she saw her deficiency.
While on it, Mrs. Victory would call to inform her that she had told her prayer group to pray that her husband returns to her, she responded, please don't pray for my husband to return yet, pray that I be transformed, not until I am no longer the woman I was, may he not come back to be to suffer again. I miss him, but please, I need to be ready to be the ideal wife before we should be asking God to bring him home.
Mrs. Anita, didn't know how to respond to that, she said, ok, we'll pray, she recommended the book WISDOM for ESTHERs to her, which she immediately bought and read. The more she studied God's word about women, the more she saw how deficient she had been towards her husband.
I want to change, God please help me.
She was now dedicated into developing herself with God's word, the book WISDOM for ESTHERs had been so helpful to her. One day, the spirit of God would impress to her to send a text to her husband. She wrote, 'though I miss you, I am happy that at least you are having something I couldn't give you.'
When her husband saw the text, he said…to himself, this is the first time my wife is admitting she is wrong. He thought for the number of times the wife had told him how she loved him but had never admitted she was sorry for all her false assumptions. He started wishing that his wife would change and the thought that she might had changed flooded his mind. He started missing home, thinking about their child. One day, he called Chinelo and told her, he was sorry for for having carnal knowledge of her, that it was circumstances that led to that. Though he continued staying with Chinelo, they stopped sleeping together. Chinelo didn't say anything, she only tried on few more occasion to seduce him but he seems not interested. They still communicated and talked about work whenever they are together.
Meanwhile, Mrs. Victory kept asking God to deal with her, destroy her pride in her and make her a better wife, everyday, she kept declaring that she is the proverbs 31 woman. She listed out every quality in the proverb 31 woman and would keep declaring that she has those qualities in Jesus' name. Another day, the urge to pray for happiness of her husband came on her and she would keep praying. The more she did, she happier she became over him. Though her husband wasn't at home with her, she was truly at peace. She'll tell herself, God has healed her home, God is only waiting for her to be made whole before He would bring home her husband.
Code-Babe noticed the new person Mrs Victory had become since she developed a good rapport with Mrs Anita and became regular with church and she desired such joy and peace. She became very serious with the gospel and that would lead her receiving Christ into her life. She had been bitter over a long period of time because of her marital status, she had seen most of her mates married and when marriage wasn't happening she became very bitter and dissatisfied about her life. This bitterness had lead her into using men. She never believed any man would marry her because of her age and so she dates men for money and used young boys as a means to express disregard for God whom she thinks was the reason she hasn't married.
Now she discovered the joy of salvation, the mercies of God and the fact that her name had been written in the lamb's book of life, this gave her joy and she was determined never to lose that joy.
Meanwhile, she had a male neighbor who had found it difficult to talk with her because he had been seeing her flirt with everyone and how she had shown acts of wickedness, shouted at people over little things and these had made him not to approach her but he had been praying to God to transform her.
When he started seeing how transformed she is and how she is now serious with God, he would approach her and propose to marry her. Coded-Babe couldn't believe what was happening, she just discovered that she was not married all the while because bitterness had rooted deeply in her and marred how she viewed and relates with people while she kept giving herself excuses that she was bitter because she wasn't married. After few months, Coded-Babe became married, Mrs Anita's presence in their lives had brought peace and joy and the joy in them had led to a higher blessings from God.
Mrs Victory was so happy for her friend, Jesus had brought forgiveness of sin for them, Coded-babe's testimony give her so much assurance that her husband would come back. The God that did it for my friend is definitely concerned about me, she kept assuring herself.
On the day of Coded-babe's wedding, Mrs Victory's husband would come for the wedding, he saw his wife and he fell in love with her again.
He walked to her and said, I slept with Chinelo only 5 times, and for the past 6 months I have stopped sleeping with her. Would you still accept me back to the house? she said in reply, you slept with her 5 times? he said 'yes', and you haven't slept with her for the last 6 months? he said 'yes'. This is my answer then, you are the best man in this world, you are the most forgiving husband in this world, you are the most tolerating husband in this world, I can't even believe you could put up with me all those years, I don't deserve you, for the past 15 months i've been asking God to make me a woman who deserves you. You stay more than a year with a lady and you only slept with her 5 times, you are faithful, i didn't see it.
She knelt down before and said, Today, I promised to be the best wife. I'll be humble and i'll keep working on myself with God's word to be a better wife. I need your forgiveness my husband. Her husband would kneel too and they hugged and kissed.
That was the beginning of a better marital life.
THE END
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