MURDERED BY HER HUSBAND

‘I told her not to marry this man, its just 4 months, he had already killed her’ her best friend and chief bridesmaid lamented bitterly.
Many people have come for the funeral; they all wore black top with a white inscription ‘SAY NO TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE’ to her funeral. The mother was weeping bitterly, as she kept cursing her son-in-law for murdering her pregnant daughter.
People continued to gather in groups, discussing the events, many were sharing every detail on facebook, whatsapp and other social media sites.
The man was at the funeral under the custody of the police, he had handed over himself to the police after he had killed her unintentionally. He had also requested the police to bring him to the funeral as he claimed that he had no intent of killing her when they had a heated argument.
The mother of the deceased would come to her late daughter’s friend as she lamented, ‘but you were there when I warned her never to marry him, she insisted she wanted to follow her heart, all the while she was abused physically by him, she never told me’ her friend would reply, ‘it was because you never approved of her marriage with him, so she couldn’t come to you when she started suffering abuses from him’.
‘But she should have told me’, she wept, ‘why didn’t you tell me when you discovered the abuse! why didn’t you tell me?’ She asked while shoving her. ‘What would I say ma, she was my friend, she made me promise never to tell you and I did promise her’.
Meanwhile, a girl who was sitting close-by and listening their conversations, after the funeral, would go to the deceased friend and ask her, I want to get married too, I have a suitor, but the death of your friend sent shivers down my spine, I want to know what blinded her so that I may know so that I won’t be blinded too and marry someone who would send me to an early grave’.
She said, it all began when her husband (by then they were friends) would slap her over an allegation which he later found out to be false. He had suspected her to be seeing another man, so he slapped her before me, when I tried to intervene he warned me sternly never too, accusing me of being an accomplice. The anger I saw in him that day and how uncontrollable he was during that feat of anger scared me to death. I tried warning my late friend never to continue the relation citing ‘*_Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:  Prov. 22:24_*’ but she said, he’ll change. And when I tried to insist she should break out, she accused me of having an eye on him and that I had planned to take over should she break out of the relationship. Immediately she said that, I held my peace. My friend was so desperate to get married just to prove whatsoever she had in mind to her ex which I believe she loved more. She also wanted marriage as a means of unburdening her mother who had suffered to bring her up after the death of her father while she was still a kid. She wanted to marry and help her mother.
She became so determined to endure her husband (then they were friends) and change him instead of breaking away. She kept praying while they were courting for the man’s transformation, she’ll fast and even seed. Anytime any marriage counselor advice her to come out of the relationship, she’ll ignore and said she wants to follow her heart.
She also told me that her mom would take her out to a special place and had a talk with her telling her that she isn’t tired of taking care of her and that she is in no pressure to get married yet my friend would ignore her.
When the guy started making plans to pay her bride price, she saw a revelation which scared her; she said that she saw…herself entering into an uncontrollable fire that would consume her. She woke up from the dream scared to death. She started praying and as she does, a strong thought started interrupting her, that that wild fire is the man she’ll be getting married too. But then she thought it was too late to withdraw, she started telling God to quench the fire. It was like doing the permissive and not the perfect will of God. She had made her choice and even God respects our choices. They got married.
I know my friend started suffering from the first week of marriage. I started noticing scars on her body and if I asked her, she’ll either say, she slipped and fell or had a skin reaction. I knew she was abused physically; it was in her husband to beat and hit her at any slight provocation.
But one day she’ll open up and tell me that what she had expected in marriage is very opposite to what she is seeing. That she wished to be single and that she had been so desperate to be married just because of the idea of being married. I’ve been locked up with the devil himself in the same house she had said to me tearfully. He prays so much, he goes to church, but he is far from been gentle with me. I’m so scared of approaching him for what I want, I’m afraid of replying him when he is speaking, I’m very cautious of putting too much or too less salt, I’m in bondage and I can’t come out.
She and I went for counseling, and she was told to separate from the man i.e. go and live differently but because she had no savings or money to rent a house, and she is shy of returning to her mom’s place for what her mom would say because according to her, her mom is very judgmental and people around them wouldn’t stop talking.
While we were still working on finding her a new place to stay away from her wild husband, he’ll hit her with a pressing iron. And she’ll die instantly.
The man has never stopped weeping since the day he killed his wife, he even reported himself to the police immediately and is ready to face any judgment the court would lay on him. This continued to make me wonder how a man would love someone so deeply and yet be unable to control his anger over that person.
The lady listening then said to her, ‘I’ll be married soon but I’ve never seen my man angry. I think he must be perfect for me though, what do you think?’ Not been angry is another problem…
The lady listening then said to her, ‘I’ll be married soon but I’ve never seen my man angry. I think he must be perfect for me though, what do you think?’ Not been angry is another problem…
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She said, ‘a man should be angry, but he should be able to control his temperament during the feat ofanger, andd he shouldn’t stay angry for long. It’s very important that man expresses his anger and displeasure. Whoever you haven’t seen in the feat of anger, don’t commit your life to him because when he stores up pain and displeasure without expressing it, soon it will become sour in him and whenever he lashes out, you won’t be able to contain because whatsoever would be the trigger on that day when he’ll lash out, would be minute to compare to what he’ll do to you.
It’s never safe to commit your life with a man you’ve not seen angry; you need to see a man during his extremes; when he is too happy and when he is too displeased. If you can’t handle him during these extremes you’ll be able to handle him forever’. The girl shook her head and thanked her. Then she asked, ‘what do you think is the reason men beat the women they love, having seen that your late friend’s husband loves your friend yet would physically abuse her till her death?’ She looked at her and replied, ‘when you grow home where your father beats your mother, you are likely to be a woman beater, sometimes when you grow in a home where you weren’t satisfied with how you were been treated, where you were denied love and attention by your parents, you are likely to grow into being a violent person who wouldn’t know how to show love to those you love and care for and then the devil might possess someone’s mind and cause him to be violent during the feat of anger’. What’s the solution she asked, becoming quite curious now?...
Being born again is, when a man is born anew, his old sinful nature and whatsoever might had built up to it will become a thing of the past and a new nature of righteousness will be born in him; the nature that’ll enable him live and act righteously. She replied. After the girl had thought for a while she said, this question had been bothering me for a while now, but what about those pastors and believers who claimed to be born again but yet are still short tempered? I don’t know all the answers to that, but I know it’s contrary to their nature of faith (the new nature they became when they gave their lives to Christ). The man who is still given to anger is yet to yield that part of him to the working of the HolySpirit, it’s like holding on to what you’ve rejected or licking your vomit. We must learn to grow in the righteousness of Christ through yielding to the workings of the Holy Spirit. She nodded her head as if she had understood what the girl was saying and then asked, ‘in relationship to whom to marry, what do you do if he is a Christian and still given to anger?’ ‘Well, you just don’t marry an immature Christian until he had dealt with his anger issues and make sure you too don’t have anger issues too. Because aggression can be transferred to another, if your spouse isn’t shot tempered, a short tempered wife can push him to the edge and make him lose his cool’.
A call would come through and it was from the police office, ‘please come to the office’ the voice said, ‘your late friend’s husband wants to see you’
When she got there, she saw the mother of her friend also there; he had called her too. He started apologizing, to them to forgive him and then added, ‘even though I am forgiven, I’m a threat to humanity, I don’t deserve to live, I just wished the court would have me sentenced to immediate death before I have the chance to kill another person out of  this anger that had held me bond’
The police had earlier told the wife’s friend when she was about to come into the station that ‘he was suicidal and had attempted killing himself before he was rescued’.
The girl then told him, I know the man who can help you, it was as if he startled and asked with hope in his eyes, who can? He asked…
She replied, ‘there was a man who was so blood thirsty that he killed many of God’s servants, he even sought consent to kill more, that was how blood thirsty he was until on his way to Damascus to kill more people, someone encountered him and his life changed forever. That blood thirstiness was removed from him, and he became saved and transformed, that man who met him on his way to Damascus and transformed his life is Jesus Christ, and He ready to met you too.’ ‘I want to meet with Him; he said with great enthusiasm, and then she’ll lead him to Christ. For the first time he felt transformed and renewed.
The ladies would leave, and he’ll continue in the custody of the police. He went back to his cell, picked up the bible there and started reading about the life of Saul; how he became Paul and preached to many people. He thought of about all the harm his past anger issues had led him into. He remembered severally beating his father in his anger, the many girls he had tied up, raped, and beaten up in various occasions because of those rages. Then the peak of it was killing the woman he so much loved and had married. He then wondered at the amazing transformation he felt after giving his life to Christ. He thought of the many solutions that had failed he had on various occasions tried, and wondered at the many people out there who are under the same yoke of anger and lack of control and wished he can give to them the transformation God has given to him. Then he prayed to God and said, ‘thank you for your amazing love, thank you for forgiving me, I ask that you use me to transform at least one person’s before I’ll die in Jesus name’. After the prayers, he fell asleep and God appeared to him saying..
After he had seen himself setting many men free from certain chains with the inscription ‘anger’, ‘I’ll use you to set the captives of the enemy through the flesh free’
He woke up wondering what the vision meant, and how he’ll be free from the police custody to go and fulfill that vision.
He was sent to the prison remand for many months which he spent teaching people God’s word. As they come and leave either to the main prison or got released, he kept trying to impact them with the little truth he learns from the gospel literature he could find at the library of the prison remand.
Many of the prison officers especially the women hated him and treated him wickedly most times starving him of food and having him beat up and telling him that he won’t survive from the prison because he is a woman beater. This continued for so long, and he accepted all of it thinking he is being justly punished for his sins. But one day he’ll see a verse in the scripture that’ll change his mentality and make him refused to be punished.  *For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:  Eph. 2:8*
If I’ve been saved by my faith in Christ, therefore I shouldn’t live under punishment of the sins I’ve been saved from anymore. This scripture made him pray and kept declaring *_‘I’m saved, I refused to suffer from the wages of my sins, I’ve received the gift of God’_* and it was like when he started praying that things got worse, the female officers wouldn’t let him be in peace as they kept abusing him and denying him many of his privileges.
He started getting discouraged and started praying less until he saw a vision of a man digging for diamonds and when he was about to get the diamond, he gave up and left the mining field. That vision touched him so much, and he understood that he doesn’t need to give up in his profession of faith. He continued declaring it ‘I’m saved, I refused to suffer anymore for the punishment Christ has saved me from’
One of the female prison officers would insist he be cast into proper prison; she took it upon herself to hasten his case so that he could be charged for murder and sentenced to life imprisonment and her plan worked. He was arraigned to the court and was sentenced to life imprisonment with hard labor.
His life became shattered as he thought God wasn’t able to deliver on His promise to him.
When he was transferred to his new prison, living condition was worse. The female officers were so delighted to have him finally locked up for life and were prepared to make the hard labor on his sentence really hard but little do they know that they’ve just set him free.
There was a new government and the new president would pardon everyone on life imprisonment sentence.
After his first day in the main prison, the very next day, he was released. The officers hated themselves and wished he had remained in the prison remand, because if he were, he wouldn’t have been qualified to be released.
Today he had started a ministry where he teaches and counsel men on self-control through the word of God and the power of the Holy Spirit.
The end.