THE PROBLEM WITH AFRICA 6

‘Going Dutch’ doesn’t work in African dates. A young man had gone out on a date with a girl who invited her friends and told them to eat as much as they could. The young man had to use his ATM to redeem himself that day of the accumulated bills from the extra friends that came with the girl he had had a date with.
Men are so afraid to take girls out for dates in Africa because they are afraid the girls would take undue advantages of them and when he dares take a girl out, he’ll devise a means to make her pay back in kind willfully or forcefully. This isn’t unique to the average African girl only; it’s a trait in the African to take undue advantage of people.
Whether you are in Johannesburg or Lagos, Accra or Kigali, or DAR El Salaam or Harare, the spirit is the same, the average African wants to take advantage of you.
As a prospective son-in-law, your fiancé’s family would want to milk you of life. Some African cultures never let you off the hook once you are married to their daughters, they’ll keep demanding from you each time their daughters gives birth after they’ve tasked hell out of you as bride’s price for marrying their daughter.
An average African family wants to gain back the monies they’ve spent on their daughters on the day of her marriage.
An average entrepreneur in Africa would want to use his staff like a rag with little or no pay. The private sector has no leave days for her staffs, they don’t pay you when you are on maternity/sick leave, some would even sack you or place you on ‘no work no pay’ basis.
An African entrepreneur would want to pay himself first and his staff last and least, he’ll also seek for reasons to either deduct or not pay his staffs.
Taking undue advantages is enshrined in the African mind; she thinks of herself and tends to use others as she pleases.
In Africa, when you live with your uncle or relatives, you’ll know that slavery is real; his wife would make sure you over pay with labor for being under their shelter. You’ll be treated like garbage. Staying with my uncle for 3 years I also had a taste of what it means to be taken an undue advantage off, my uncle’s wife made sure I don’t have any spare time for myself. To her, I don’t deserve to eat/drink on the same quality of plates/cups with her kids or dress anywhere close to them, I am not qualified to eat meat, fish or anything that costs extra, I had to sleep only when its 12 midnight, and wake by 4 am and I don’t deserve more sleep. She’ll make sure I’m always working and as a child, I never had the opportunity to play with the rest of the kids. This isn’t typical of her, its typical of an average African. My story is the story of millions of Africans who have lived with their uncles or relatives.
Once an African pay you, you are in a semi-bondage, his work conditions is the toughest as he tends to turn you to his slave without regards to you in any way.
If we must grow in Africa, we must stop taking undue advantages of people. We must put our staffs first. And Igbo adage says ‘ihe a ghotara n’eze anaghi a juo afo’, its transliterated, ‘what you picked from the teeth can never fill your belly’ and it means, what you get by taking undue advantages would never be enough for you.
We must learn to treat every child under our care with the same love and affection we give to our own kids because every child is our child. There is no profit in making other kids look less than yours, when you snuff of another person’s candle, it won’t make yours shine brighter but when you help other light their candles, when yours is off, you’ll see with theirs.
African parents must learn not to over task her prospective sons-in-law; she must fight against cultures that take advantages of sons-in-law using marriages and child birth as foothold
Africans entrepreneurs must put their staffs first and allow them standard staff’s benefits as obtainable in the rest of the world.
Africans must respect her fellow Africans, and respect their ‘time to privacy’ and make working conditions less stressful, all isn’t about money.
Africa will be the best place to live when we love those under our care the way we would want to be treated had the case being the reverse.
God bless you.